How I Met Your Father
by MellowInsomniac
Summary: Uzumaki Naoki is Naruto's son. Uchiha Sasuke is Naoki-kun's newest best friend. Naruto is Sasuke's…lover! Age is just a number, try and stop our love! Tune in to this episode of "How I Met Your Father". OOC, AU
1. Honey! I'm home!

How I Met Your Father

Pairing: SasuNaru

Rating: M

Genre: Romance/Humor

Summary: Uzumaki Naoki is Naruto's son. Uchiha Sasuke is Naoki-kun's newest best friend. Naruto is Sasuke's…lover! Age is just a number, try and stop our love! Tune in to this episode of "How I Met Your Father". OOC, AU

A/N: Hello again. I'm back with another one. For my first time readers here's my reference notes.|"Talking"|_ 'Flashback'_| 'Thoughts'| pretty simple but I just want to clarify. If you don't like it, go away please, if you do read on and check out my other stuff. I've got a lot of projects in the works so don't be a stranger to my alerts. Happy Reading all! -Mellow

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto :( But I really wish I did. It'd be…different! :D

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_Episode 1: Honey! I'm home!_

_**Naruto**_

Uzumaki Naruto frantically scurried around his large kitchen, searching for something.

'Ah! Here it is! Cumin!' he thought with pride. Grabbing a few more colorful ingredients he approached the stainless steel stove and tossed them in, with a dash of cumin. The cast iron pot of the heavenly smelling liquid simmered and filled the kitchen with an aroma sweeter than honey. He grabbed a wooden spoon and gave the soup a stir, leaning over the pot to take in the delicious heat. Raising a spoonful to his lips, he tasted it and moaned in pleasure.

'Mmm.' he exclaimed with excitement, 'I hope Nao-chan and his friends will enjoy it!'

He placed the soup on low heat and ran over to the brick oven to check on the fresh bread he prepared. It was reaching the perfect golden brown color and Naruto couldn't be more pleased. Being a professional chef, he gained most of his happiness from cooking successful dishes and making others happy with his food. Naruto turned to a vast wooden cutting board on his stainless steel island, graced with lettuce, cherry tomatoes, red onion, green peppers, parmesan cheese, oranges, and other delicacies. He reached below him to open a drawer to grab a cutting knife. Closing the drawer, he began to chop the ingredients into a salad, placing them into a big wooden bowl beside him. After competing that, he placed the salad in the fridge to keep if fresh and began to set the table.

'Hmm, which china should I use today…? Ah!' He grabbed an onyx colored set that appeared to look like marble. 'This will go well and contrast with the colors of the food.' he continued thinking. After grabbing all the china from the cabinet, he began setting the table.

The tall blonde began humming a tune in his deep soothing voice, quickly getting lost in his task and forgetting his surroundings, engrossed in the detail of the table. He didn't even seem to notice the triple beeping of the alarm system, signifying his son's return.

_**Sasuke**_

All of the sudden it was like he'd been put on pause. Uchiha Sasuke stood in awe of what had to be one of the most beautiful living spaces he'd ever seen. The others moved past him in what seemed like a daze as he continued to admire his surroundings. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen immaculate decorating and grace in his lifetime, he was an Uchiha for Kami's sake, but never like this, So open, so airy, so…like home. It was as if someone had taken the time to make sure that the house looked as open and spacious as possible from the choice of the honey colored walls to the sleek crimson carpeting.

Buzz buzz buzzzz buzzz buzz…

Simple black furnishings took up just enough space and the state of the art entertainment system didn't stand out like things like that normally tended to in such an elegant room. Modern and impressionist art was carefully scattered across the walls, sculptures were gracefully placed in the perfect spots and tapestries hung from just the right places.

Buzzzzzzzz… buzz buzz…

And this was just the living area? What did they rest of the house look like?

Buzzzzzz! Buzz!

On top of all this, there was a spectacular aroma coming from the hallway to his left. He could feel his mouth watering and wondered if Naoki's family had a professional cook.

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

What the hell was that buzzing noise? Sasuke shook his head as he began to focus on the outside world again and planned to kill the shit out of the fly that kept buzzing past his ear. He turned to the left with an annoyed expression and swatted. From the sharp 'ow' he heard from his right, he realized that buzzing was Naoki thing to get his attention, not a fly. Oops.

"Sorry Naoki. I thought I saw a fly. Didn't mean to swat you." He apologized.

"Ow! Geez Uchiha! I was just trying to get your attention. You were spacing out like mad. Take your shoes off and come inside, everyone is wondering where you are." Naoki smiled teasingly and Sasuke felt a bit embarrassed. Staring off into space like that was very un-Uchiha like. He'd have to work on that. Sasuke kicked off his shoes and lined them up with the others, placing his messenger bag by his shoes.

"Naoki, you didn't tell me your house was this big. You said "simple", this isn't at all simple." Sasuke continued to gush over his surroundings as Naoki lead him up a set of spacious stairs to an equally immaculate upstairs. Each section of the house seemed to have its own special charms. This hallway had honey-colored walls with cream carpeting and music memorabilia all over the walls.

"I thought this would be simple compared to that of the great Uchiha estate. Forgive me." He laughed lightheartedly and stopped at the door to what had to be his room. He opened it and Sasuke's eyes went wide for the hundredth time that evening. It was HUGE. Bigger than his bedroom. California King-sized bed, two loveseats, a plasma, every game system known to man, and decorated out of a magazine like the rest of the house. This was every young man's dream room. iMac in the front corner, surround sound system, guitars and basses in the back corner. Why would you ever want to leave this room?

"Naoki, remind me to switch the meaning of everything you say to the opposite, okay?"

The blonde boy chuckled and shoved Sasuke .They walked over and sat in one of the love seats, watching Kiba and Shikamaru brawl on an older version of Soul Caliber. The couch was so soft that you could've had a rougher time sitting on a cloud. Sasuke sunk deep into it with a sigh of approval. Naoki laughed again and followed suit.

"This is all my Dad's doing. Not that I'm complaining, I love my room, but he likes to decorate stuff. Make it unique. That's why he's a chef. He says every dish he prepares is unique, it is never prepared the same way every time and there's always something new you can do so essentially you create a new dish every time you cook."

"Sounds like a kick ass Dad." Sasuke mentally imagined a shorter, round man, with a balding blonde head and a beard and smiled. So much better than his stiff of an old man. He never smiled unless his Mom was around. She was the only thing that made him happy. And the Uchiha got their good looks from their fathers, so yeah his Dad was tall and handsome. Seems that Naoki's Dad is the complete opposite in appearance and demeanor. Sasuke gave an inner chuckle and a smirk as Kiba KO'd Shikamaru for the second time since he's been watching.

"Damn it!" Shika cursed.

"10 bucks." Kiba held out his hand and shook it in Shika's face.

"Fine, fine. Oh, and Uchiha."

"Hn." Sasuke looked over to the boy sitting on the floor with curiousity.

"Naoki's Dad…don't think what you're thinking about him. You're wrong. Trust me. I did the same thing when I first met him. Bad idea." A chorus of agreements came chiming in from every other guy in the room. Sasuke was puzzled. So, his Dad wasn't really nice or chill? Hmm. Maybe he was one of those anal types with OCD that hated his things to get out of place. Aw, that sucked. At that point, a little melody played on the speakers and Sasuke looked around, more confused in the last few minutes than he'd been his entire life.

"It's just the intercom, probably my Dad telling us that dinner's done." Naoki reached over to grab a remote and press a few buttons. "Yo! Dad, what's up."

"Chow time bro, getcha' asses down here before I eat it all!" A deep, sultry voice called from over the speakers. It surprised Sasuke, sending slight chills down his spine and giving him a slight flush. He shook his head and stood, hoping no one caught it; Uchihas didn't blush at the sound of a man's voice!

"Yeah Dad." Naoki called. The other guys stood too, rushing out the door toward the kitchen, laughing and talking loudly. Sasuke was hesitant to follow. He wasn't sure what that voice did to him but it couldn't get any better with him actually hearing it up close and in person. He slight pressure on his shoulder and looked to his left. Naoki was beside him with a big smile that highlighted his slightly whiskered cheeks.

"Ready to meet my Dad?"

Sasuke swallowed hard, gathering up all his courage to say:

"Yeah."

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**A/n: ****So here's my new project. I'll be working on it at the same time as Dream Catcher. You can get a little of both ends of the spectrum with those two. Keep checking back for updates. I do take request so feel free, yeah? -Mellow **


	2. Cupid Shuffle

How I Met Your Father

**a/n: Wow. it's been a really long time since I've updated or been able to for that matter. Last year my mom was diagnosed with cancer so it's been really hard for me to do much. But she's better now and so am I! I hope to bring you guys a lot from my struggles over the past months! And release some of this latent tension and angst via writing. So...without further ado, thanks for waiting! -Mellow**

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_Chapter 2: Cupid Shuffle_

**Sasuke**

Sasuke lethargically made his way down the massive staircase, making sure to take every stair in a cool, slow stride. He would never admit it to anyone but he was nervous as hell to meet Naoki's dad. That voice…it enthralled him in ways that it shouldn't. It was so deep and smooth. So full, so silky. So…sexy. He couldn't shake the heat that was filling his abdomen, causing his blood to travel…well, you know. His face was flushed and his breathing uneven. Damn, he hadn't even seen the man. What the hell was this!?This was not an appropriate way for an Uchiha to greet anyone. Especially someone's father, a man 20+ years his elder.

Naoki, getting impatient at the end of the stairs called up to him with a little edge in his voice:

"Uchiha! If you don't get your fancy ass down here in the next ten seconds, I'm gonna come up there and push you down the damn stairs!" He had his hands on his shapely hips and was tapping his foot. If Sasuke didn't know any better, he'd think it was his own mother. He chuckled and shook his head at the analogy as he picked up the pace, quickly descending the stairs.

"What you laughing at? Huh!?"

"Nothing, Naoki. I'm coming." Sasuke continued to chuckle.

"That's damn right you are!"

'Get it together Sasuke,' he thought urgently as he reached the final step, laughter fading into anxiety, 'Why are you so worked up anyway? He's old, short, round, and bitchy. That voice must just be a fluke. Just like Shika said. I won't overestimate the guy because I kinda like his voice. Yeah. Uchiha's don't wane at a mere voice anyway!'

Reassured by his mental pep talk, Sasuke approached Naoki and smiled. Naoki's irritated glare melted into what Sasuke thought was admiration as he quickly blushed and turned toward what he assumed was the dining room. Sasuke heard a muffled "come on" as Naoki began to lead him down the hallway. It was strange really, why was Naoki all of the sudden acting so flustered? All Sasuke had done was smile. It happened a lot lately; when Sasuke chuckled or smiled. Especially when they accidently touched or exchanged glances when studying. Sasuke hadn't paid it much mid however now… was it possible that Naoki lik—

Before Sasuke could finish his thought Naoki pushed open a door and stepped through with Sasuke, stumbling out of his state of thought, on his heels. Sasuke took a deep breath and sighed at the heavenly aroma that filled the room.

"Damn, it smells good in here!" he exclaimed, looking over to the sleek table setting that had a big cast iron pot sitting in the center, surrounded by what looked like slices of homemade bread. He pulled out the chair closest to him next to Kiba and sat in awe of the food in front of him. Naoki took the seat across from him, next to Shika with what looked like a face of disappointment. What was that about, first the blushing, now he was sad about something? What could possibly be wrong wi—

His thoughts were halted as the head of the table arrived, carrying a big wooden bowl full of a fresh green salad. He was tall, at least 6 feet tall, with sun-kissed tan skin and long, spiky blonde locks stopping a bit past his shoulders. His body was hard, muscles ripping under the tight white shirt he was wearing and legs threatening to rip the seams of those godforsaken jeans he had pressed to his skin. He had tattoos cascading up his tanned arms, various designs and words grazed his skin in what appeared to be a half sleeve on each arm. He had a smile on his face, revealing the whitest teeth Sasuke had ever seen and making his big blue eyes crinkle on the edges as they cast a beautiful glow over his perfect face. Sasuke sat in awe at the Adonis in front of him as he opened his mouth to reveal that sinful voice once again:

"Chow's on boys! Beef stew, homemade French baguettes, and a garden salad! Eat up!" It was even more unbearable in person. Sasuke's calm façade was thrown out of the window as he felt that familiar heat come back with a 110% intensified force. He shifted in this seat as his pants tightened and his breath hitched, never taking his eyes off of the stunning male in front of him. He distantly heard chuckles from the other boys at the table. He assumed they were directed at him. His mind was too focused on the sexy lug in front of him to care.

Said male leaned down and placed the salad bowl on the table; Sasuke watched his every move as the muscles in his arms and chest rippled as he leaned forward and then back. He grabbed the chair and pulled it out, sitting down and scooting forward again to rub his hands together, looking ready it dig in to the masterpiece he'd created.

Sasuke finally realized he was staring and as his face turned an unbelievable shade of pink he put his head down and thought:

'Who the hell is—'

**Naruto**

"—are you?" Naruto asked as he looked to his left and saw the young pale man with the cute blush on his cheeks. He was staring at his bowl hard, absent of stew, unlike the rest of the boys whom were slurping down his creation down like it was their first and last meal. This guy was just sitting there. Did he not eat meat? If so, there was still salad and bread. What the hell? The voice to his right pulled his attention away from the stoic boy as he heard his son offer him an explanation:

"Dad, this is Uchiha Sasuke, one of my best friends. This is the first time he's been able to come over. We usually go over his place and all the times the other guys have come over he's had family arrangements to attend to. He goes to the same college as us." Naoki explained, looking over to Sasuke with a confused face. "Isn't that right, Sasuke?"

The boy seemed to snap out of it then, realizing how he looked, he blushed even more and looked up at me. His eyes were a deep onyx color, like nothing he'd ever seen. His bone structure was flawless as the pink flush covered perfect cheekbones. He was beautifully pale, like a porcelain doll. As he sat up straight in his chair Naruto could tell he was about an inch or two taller than even him. His neck was long, and so was the rest of him; yet he wasn't overly muscular, he wore a grey v-neck that showed off a healthy, toned figure. And as he parted those soft-looking pink lips, Naruto's eyes widened:

"H-hai. I attend the Konoha Art Academy as well. I am studying to become a writer and a film director. They are my majors. I also enjoy taking figure drawing classes and drawing is my minor. I am in my 3rd year of college at the Academy and hope to graduate and begin writing and the production of my first movie next year. "

His voice…was…damn. He'd never been attracted to people younger than him. Let alone a younger male, however this boy…he had the whole package. He was tall, smart, sexy, and stylish. But he couldn't be more than 22 and that was…21 years younger than him. Sasuke's mouth was moving a mile a minute as his sinful lips spun a seductive web with his voice. Naruto glanced over at the rest of the boys to make sure they were enjoying the food—but more importantly, were distracted. Chouji was on his 5th bowl of stew and Shika was leaning back in his chair, seeming to be taking a nap. Kiba was cuddled close to Sai, with a blush on his face as Sai, Naruto assumed, stroked his leg under the table.

'Good.' He thought with a smug smirk, 'Time to play the game I always play with Nao-chan's friends. He must be nervous, typical. I must have caught him off guard like I did with the others. I wonder how he'll react when I go all "cool parent" on him. I hope he'll like me like the others!' Naruto smiled innocently and leaned back in his chair, deciding to have some fun with "Uchiha Sasuke".

"So, Sasuke-kun…May I call you Sasuke-kun?"

The boy's face couldn't have gotten more flushed. "Hai!" he replied

"Well then, thank you Sasuke-kun. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, Naoki's father. I own Konohagure, the restaurant downtown. I am also head chef there. Your parents own a table, I believe. I own Rasengan and Ero, the clubs as well. I'm sure you've been to both on many occasion."

The pale boy's eyes widened as he realized exactly who Naruto was. He was about to comment when:

"But enough about me, Ok? Sasuke-kun. How old are you?"

"23, sir."

"No need for the "sir". 23, eh? That's old enough to have some pretty major experiences. Ever drink?"

"Yes.

"Smoke?"

"No."

"Have sex?" Naoki was drinking a glass of water and at that question he coughed, choking on the liquid as it stopped the path down his throat. He coughed several times tiring to gain his composure as his Dad's face stayed in the same quizzical manor and Sasuke sat with wide eyes that matched the other boys' reaction to Naruto's extremely personal question. Despite his efforts to keep the conversation hush, the magnitude of Naruto's question penetrated the room. They'd all gotten the 3rd degree from him, but never this. Something had to be up...

Naruto was playing a game.

"Dad!" Naoki exclaimed, his blush matched Sasuke's and Naruto got even more curious about the situation. It seemed that Nao-chan was overly concerned with this boy. He looked as if the question offended him yet made him curious at the same. Perhaps Naoki had seen the OTHER side of this pale sex god. A pang of unexpected jealousy resounded in Naruto from unknown origins. He wrinkled bus perfect nose in confusion.

'Could they be…? Even so, What's up with the wonky ass feelings? I won't back off, now. Sorry Nao-chan. In fact…I need more answers.'

"Well? And do you prefer men or women?" Naruto questioned further, feeling the tension in the room rise with his words.

Naoki almost had a stroke as Sasuke finally turned completely red at the final question. It also seemed to, if at all possible, gain more attention from the other boys, as if they were just as curious as Naruto as to what the answer would be. Chouji even stopped his pre-hibernation feast to hear the answer. Entertained, Naruto leaned forward on his folded are resting on the table and turned his head to the side as Sasuke sputtered on his delicate response, flashing a daring smile that seemed to hinder the boy more:

"W-well, sir. I am sex…sexually active. And I have dated both men and women…I-I have no real preference. My last 2 relationships were with women and I did not enjoy them so I feel as if my loyalties are waning!" The pale boy breathed. Naruto chuckled in response.

" I can agree at that!"

"Sir?"

Naruto paused in his response, "Don't call me that shit. I may be in my forties but in not cryptic. Naruto is fine, Sasu-kun. " he corrected "and as for women, Ruri, Nao-chan's musmy was the only chick for this one, so I feel your pain, young Jedi."

If at all possible, the blush on Sasuke's face got even deeper as Naoki kicked Naruto's leg hard under the table and shot him a bitter look. He hissed in response and kicked back. Naoki was acting weird. Naruto would have to kick lil' Nao-chan's ass later and ask him is he was porking the fair skinned hottie. But until then...back to the matter at hand.

"So Sas—, "He began, but faintly head a ding and immediately rose from the table.

"Scuse' me kids." Naruto noted with passion

He spun toward the entrance to his kitchen and moved swiftly toward the Belgium chocolate soufflé that was calling his name from the oven. As he moved, he could feel five pairs of curious eyes following him, and one…that was making his knees a little week. He glanced back, over his shoulder to see onyx eyes staring holes in the back of his pants with a hungry look on his face, pink lips glistening from where he had licked them. Then intensity made his breath hitch as he rounded the corner and braced himself against the kitchen wall, getting his groin out of the influence of those sexy black orbs.

Uchiha Sasuke, huh? This would prove to be interesting…

"Who wants dessert?"


End file.
